Prologue: Excerpt from The Elder-most Manuscript of Myths and Creatures

1/29/2020 edit: Hot dang! See how far I’ve come? I originally wrote this as a bonus chapter but after cleaning up my blog for 2020 and working on “Season 2” of the story, I realized this little book is as the center of EVERYTHING and really should be treated as a prologue.


Original post 10/30/2019: Another little bonus thing I threw together because my nerdiness does not know any bounds. This is an excerpt from the book Vlad was reading in the last chapter. All will be revealed throughout the story but if you want some fun easter eggs or you just want to ramp up the tension while our two characters continue on a collision course towards each other (meet-cute coming soon), read on!

(And listen y’all, I used one of those internet translators for the Elizabethan and Old English and I am 100% sure they are not correct. However, since olde simlish and ye olde simlish are 100% made up, I’m not gonna worry about it. Enjoy!).


Page 419

The bird of the night of undoing, mystical secret as toldeth to nicolai flamellius. 

The Goddess Elmira of the Hunteth hath kept a pet bird of the night as h’r did treasure companion. H’r twin broth’r, God Omar of the Travelling Lamp, wast jealous of the pet and, seeking to amerce his sist’r, lur’d the bird of the night into his sky palace wh’re he did pluck out all of its feath’rs. The Goddess Elmira did weep and wenteth to h’r lov’r, B’ollathirnon, the God of Death, to seeketh his help in getting revenge ‘gainst h’r twin. Not wanting to receiveth hath caught in a war between the siblings, B’ollathirnon hath brought Elmira to seeth the Fates, and hath asked the Three Sist’rs to weaveth new feath’rs f’r Elmira’s belov’d pet. The Three Sist’rs did agree but requir’d a most wondrous payment in exchange f’r using the threads yond did weave the outcomes and probabilities of the realms.

B’ollathirnon did warn Elmira to beest careful because the Fates art by their v’ry nature, fickle, and prone to pulleth a dissemble with any requesteth. But Elmira negotiat’d in secret and did agree to the price which, unbeknownst to h’r lov’r, wouldst beest his godhood. At which hour the final feath’r wast sewn onto the bird of the night, B’ollathirnon hath fallen from the realm of the gods down to the plane of m’rtals and less’r sup’rnatural beings.

B’ollathirnon did land in a parteth of the w’rld known as SimNation wh’re, stripp’d of his pow’rs, he did lie dying. Anon yond h’r bird of the night hadst the feath’rs of fate, Elmira did see an opp’rtunity and hath used a feath’r to tryeth and maketh the eyesight of h’r handmaidens sharp’r so yond they might beest bett’r hunteth’rs. But upon using the feath’r Elmira hath found yond all of h’r handmaidens wenteth blindeth.

The Fates did weave the threads backwards so the feath’rs couldst not maketh states, conditions, ‘r natural laws, only undo those folk. The Goddess Elmira wast furious and confront’d the Three Sist’rs claiming yond they wenteth backeth on their w’rd by pulling m’re than one dissemble. But the Fates toldeth Elmira yond by rights, they hadst only fopped B’ollathirnon, by taking his godhood. Elmira couldst not has’t been fopped because the lady did agree to it. The Goddess wast naughty to betray h’r lov’r, and the Fates only reward’d wickedness on Tuesdays. The Goddess madeth h’r requesteth on a Friday.

Elmira did complain to ev’ryone about h’r unfair treatment and w’rd eventually hath reached the Goddess of F’rtility (Marshala), and the God of Nectar (Pinot), who is’t hadst been looking f’r their son B’ollathirnon.  Togeth’r, with his broth’r, Orbalis, the God of Agriculture, they did seek him out in the plane of m’rtals. Finding him v’ry nearly gone, they gaveth up their owneth godhood to tryeth and giveth B’ollathirnon enow pow’r to returneth to the realm of the gods. With the absence of death and nectar and f’rtility and agriculture, all the realms w’re thrown into chaos.  The three ancient sages travel’d from the realm of magic to begeth the fates f’r help. 

Being wise though, the three sages didst not maketh a f’rmal requesteth of the Fates.  Rath’r, those gents hath asked the Three Sist’rs to revieweth the tapestries and maketh their owneth decisions.  The sist’rs, delight’d by the clev’rness of the sages and hearten’d by the family’s sacrifice, hath changed their minds about fopping B’ollathrinon.  Instead, they did grant B’ollathirnon all the god pow’rs of his family and gaveth him 2,000 years to findeth a w’rthy replacement. Only at which hour that he hadst a w’rthy replacement wouldst the Fates p’rmanently weaveth him into the past so that gent couldst retireth with that gent family 

Addendum, as toldeth to mary wolcraftian.  Rules f’r useth of the bird of the night of undoing

{To} m¯æran wislic landriht ‘land−right {B’Ollathirnon’s} yrfeweard {is} witodlic weorðfullic nâðýl¯æs ûtâðýdan besecgan dôð {Owl} orgilde {Undoing} intô with 6, ðone as {Sages} beweorpan bêgra hagorûn fornêah ðone as {Owl} un−l¯æd {Undoing} ðe dôð {Fates} stîf hêahfæst fullan webbgeweorc sê sb duguð {tapestries}.  

{The} {feathers} willa further bewyrcan thither duguð {Owl} un−l¯æd {Undoing} {has} {been} {earned} ofðe fûslic gifeðe.   

{The} {Sages} mægðmann nâteðæshwôn lêafe ðone as {Owl} orgilde {Undoing} hrycg inne ðone as dêadlic land wiðæftan man brêman neorð ‘ right to own or occupy land or connected with its occupation {B’Ollathirnon} {has} âmyltan weargbr¯æde weorðlic {replacement}.    

{B’Ollathirnon} âlesan hwilc−hwugu {sim} geond wýscan {replacement}. {That} {sim} wilnian byrian tîma wæterðêote, important ±unnen and thing {wield} {B’Ollathirnon’s} {awesome} {powers}, to canne forwards {allowed} fyllan cêap {godhood} forð¯æm undêadlicnes sîð æt sîðestan wægn {Owl} of {Undoing}.     

{Until} sê hlêotan duguð {Owl} orgilde {Undoing}, wægn {heir’s} {lifespan} fers sîe m¯æð âstellan sîn nytt râd {B’Ollathirnon’s} {powers}.  


Credits

Besides the clip art I blended together, I found this site with plenty of cool vintage images: The Graphics Fairy (and thank goodness too!)

And if you have a burning desire to make some fake Elizabethan or Old English, I used lingojam’s English to Shakespearean and fun translation’s Old English.

    3 comments
  • Ninja Pink Sex
    July 25, 2022

    Ferosh,

    However did you come by a manuscript of THE ORIGINAL KAREN? Or perhaps The Goddess of Karens.

    Elmira of the HUNT-YOU-OUT-AND-GET-YOU-IN-TROUBLE. And what an IMMENSE pile of trouble she was/is. I get that she was RIGHTFULLY upset with her twin, but she went to her LOVER to handle the problem? Elmira, you hunt, and yet you cannot handle your own family drama? Maybe the correct word isn’t *couldn’t* but *want* – she clearly did not WANT to. But why? Okay, so Omar is a god of “the traveling lamp” which sounds like he’s a Djinn. So, I assume its power. He is MUCH MORE POWERFUL than her. So, another question, *why* was Omar jealous of her pet? Because their godly parents didn’t give him a gift (favoritism?) or was his jealousy b/c Elmira didn’t want to play MarioKart with Omar anymore b/c she was too busy playing catch with her bird? I KNOW THESE WILL BE ANSWERED but, already, my brain is just WHAT IS UP WITH THIS C*NT 0.o
    Okay, so not only does she go to B’ollathirnon to handle her sibling rivalry, but she throws him under the mystical bus when she makes a deal with the Fates, but she boo-hoo’s about how unfair things turned and complains… a-hem, let me emphasis … COMPLAINS LIKE A KAREN to everyone! Goodness this “goddess.”
    Like how sore do you have to be at your lover because he was the mature one in the relationship?! I don’t like Elmira and I’d say she could go to hell, but that’s probably where she met B’ollathirnon in the first place, and, ugh I dislike her.

    I like how the last image is like a countdown/clock ticking. Bitch, you got 2,000 years but it’s gonna go faaaaast. Get.On.It!

    Great prologue! I can’t wait to watch some fresh dough *rise* (because as you said, the scones won’t bake themselves). LET THERE BE CAKE! And by cake I mean ass. I AM READY FOR THE THIRST TRAPS!

    • feroshgirl
      July 28, 2022

      The gods are terrible people! The are long lived, powerful, and absolutely out of their minds!

      And yet, I can’t wait for you to meet them in the story. Calling Elmyra the karen goddess lololololol I can’t handle it.

      Now, who do you hate more? Elmyra or Mortimer? 😈😈😈

      • Ninja Pink Sex
        July 31, 2022

        Who do I hate more… I’d have to go with Mortimer. I know this wasn’t really a question, but you stoking some fires… but, because I’ve read more about Mortimer, and he did that unforgivable act, my hate-ball is more in his court.
        However, Elmyra should be hated more (I guess. I mean it’s hard to understand the actions of a god when I am only human… or maybe that’s what THEY told us – that we are incapable of questioning their intent because they are of a different ability and reasoning than us… and we believed it). What Elmyra did caused more casualties and was a deeper violation of trust in a (loving? romantic?) relationship. She a bitch. I’m hoping she gets her comeuppance somehow. If not through Alice, perhaps Gwen. I want to see that Elmyra bitch roast like a marshmallow.
        OMG MAYBE I DON’T KNOW WHO I HATE MORE.
        Fuck.
        I’m just gonna blame you for making characters I hate. :-p

        With a description of the gods, it’s no wonder they were worshipped. In fact it sounds like a recipe (no pun intended with BBD) for a sexy good time!

        Elmyra is forever the goddess of Karens. I swear to fuck if she incarnates to Nancy Landgraab I’m calling it now.

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