Britechester Univeristy, Pleasant House
Caleb used his last burst of energy to zip outside. Now at the window, he could see Deacon’s headless body wander into the living room. “Can you hear me? If not, try rolling your head closer to the phone.”
“You’re all loud and clear here captain!” Deacon shouted.
“Do not call me that,” Caleb growled. The venom was already starting to make him dizzy but he willed himself to focus. “There are weapons on the wall behind you. A sword, hanging about five feet up.”
Deacon’s body lurched awkwardly towards the wall. He grabbed for it with both hands, missing it the first time but proved successful on the third. He didn’t move after that, just stood there waiting, shoulders slumped.
Wonderful. The zombie was the type to need encouragement in stressful situations.
“Serviceable effort,” Caleb said, “Now, the basilisk doesn’t realize you can’t be hurt by its venom. We can use that to our advantage. Make some noise and try to draw it out.”
“You got it, captain!” Deacon cried.
Caleb watched in despair as his headless body slammed directly into the wall.
The way Alice saw it, there were two major problems. One was Vlad’s total and complete lack of regard for mortals, which was kind of bullshit because she was one. And number two was the fact that he had no idea how to keep a low profile. Seriously! How had supernaturals managed to remain hidden all this time when they were out on the streets growling at sims and murdering each other?
“Listen, these sims—”
Vlad gave her a cool look.
Alice groaned. “I’m not going to call them mortals because that’s weird. I’m mortal, if you didn’t forget. They are like me. You wouldn’t use me as bait for a pair of basilisks.”
“They are not,” Vlad bit out.
“They are not like you,” he explained, a fervent look in his eye that Alice didn’t particularly like. “You are not like them. You are a god five times over. They will return to dust long before you reach your first century.”
Alice looked at him in disbelief. She was…technically a god but that didn’t mean she wasn’t a sim. Couldn’t she be both? “What is your malfunction, my dude? All I’m saying is that—”
“Do you want to go to college?” he demanded.
He folded his arms and gave her a haughty look. “It is a simple question. Do you wish to attend university?”
The sex had addled his brain. That was the only thing that made sense. “I literally have no idea what you’re talking about,” Alice began, “But whether I attend this university or not, we’re not going to murder a bunch of students in it!”
“The basilisks are students too!” Vlad retorted, “Are you telling me that we’re not going to kill them?”
Alice hadn’t completely given it a lot of thought, but now that he brought it up, it did feel wrong. She threatened to smite, and Ben often described gods as being vengeful, but she didn’t think she had that in her. Alice was more like a Negotiating God, A God Who Sometimes Lost Her Shit But Was Mostly Chill. God of Death and God of Getting Out Of Situations Without Having to Murder Everyone.
“As a matter of fact, yes, I am telling you that. I don’t want my first experience at college to be murdering everyone!” she hissed before turning on her heel and marching towards the Pleasant house.
“So you admit you want to go to college!” Vlad called after her.
Alice smothered a scream.