Alice

Alice watched Gwendolyn happily lick a lollipop as if the last forty-five minutes of screaming had never happened. The attempt at getting her height was a nightmare. The ear exam was miserable, and when the pediatrician tried to draw her plasma, she cried for her “Monster.”

“I’m sorry,” Alice whispered, patting her toddler’s head. “Next time, he’ll be here, I promise.”

She had a long list of reasons not to invite Vlad, largely inspired by Penny’s lack of enthusiasm. Her best friend was great, but she had a tendency to make Alice doubt herself. It was a weird part of their dynamic where Penny gave judgy advice because she had her shit together, and Alice took it because she was a hot mess.

Ugh, just thinking those words made her cringe. Why was she so mean to herself?

Sighing, she tried to turn her attention back to the doctor, but it was hard. Alice’s head was spinning. Why was Penny being so cagey? All Alice wanted to do was pass on the damn ticket Vlad bought her so she could come for a visit. tell her what was happening. “Hey, I might be a witch, and my boyfriend is a vampire” was not something you said over the phone.

“Sorry to interrupt your daydream,” Dr. Annis cleared her throat, “But we really do need to continue the check-up.”

Fuck. Alice hadn’t been paying attention. What else did they have to do? Did they already discuss the next appointment? This was why she needed Vlad; he was detail-oriented. “There’s more?” she managed to croak out.

“Yes.” Dr. Annis set out a large needle and a few small vials on a metal tray.

One look at Gwendolyn’s trembling lip, and Alice knew what she had to do. “Can we save that for next time? I think she’s done for the day.” 

“Done? But we don’t even have a record of her phenotype! I can’t believe you’d let a toddler shut this exam down with a tantrum.”

Alice stood, lifting the Tiny Terror onto her hip. Maybe this woman didn’t have kids. Or maybe she went to the same parenting school as Cyrus Martin, but torturing your kid in the name of “propriety” wasn’t Alice’s style. She was Gwendolyn’s advocate. Sometimes, that meant ignoring a crying fit because it was bedtime and two-year-olds weren’t great at prioritizing sleep. Other times, it meant tuning in and taking her kid’s reactions seriously. “You don’t have to pretend you want to spend more time with my screaming kid,” Alice replied brightly, “I won’t tell the medical board.”

The joke fell flat. Dr. Annis pursed her lips, “When children are allowed to run the household, it speaks to a parent’s failure to establish proper regulations. Did your mother let you run roughshod over her?”

No, but only because Valeria Martin wasn’t around. She had her momentum conversion research, fights with Alice’s dad, and a classroom full of students—all who came before her eldest daughter. And it was fine because it helped Alice know what to do with her own kid, which was not that. And besides, who wouldn’t want to get the hell out of Cyrus Martin’s house? It was all good. Alice wasn’t bitter, she just wasn’t in the mood to discuss her family trauma with a stranger.

Yeah, that was it.

Dr. Annis’s expression softened. “If you didn’t have a good role model, it’s understandable that you wouldn’t know how to control your child.”

“Control my kid? I don’t have a problem with taking care of Gwendolyn!”

She continued as if Alice hadn’t spoken, her tone shifting to one of disapproval. “I mean, based on the skill tests we did earlier, you’ve got a gifted child. Without the right kind of care and attention, she’s liable to languish. Have you even thought about preschool?”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s clear you’re alone, and you need support. Why not let someone capable help you? You won’t be able to do this yourself.”

Alice almost laughed. Now the “advice” she was getting was coming from both ends of the spectrum. There was Penny, who thought accepting help was cheating and that Alice would be happier doing everything herself, which was wrong. Alice did everything alone because Salim was an asshole, but it wasn’t better, and it didn’t make her feel more capable. It was hard as shit.

And now this woman. Thinking Alice was alone when she wasn’t. Vlad loved her kid and treated Alice’s affection like this precious thing he needed to breathe. He made her laugh and swoon and narrow her eyes in equal measure. Along with Latimer, they were a family.

“You think you have something on me?” Alice arched a brow. “Because I trust my kid? Because I know her limits? Because I don’t want to scar her in the name of pleasing some smug bitch in a white lab coat?”

“Smug?”

“You heard me.” Alice scowled, “I don’t have to take shit from you. I’m capable, I’m a good mom, and I’m in love with Vlad.”

“Who?” 

Shit! When did her inner monologue get so external?

“Love Monster?” Gwendolyn asked. “My Monster?”

“Uhh, she doesn’t know what she’s saying,” Alice cast about her diaper bag. “I’m just dating someone who’s really into cosplay, so I’m fine, we’re fine. Both happy. Really happy and…uh…now we’re gonna go.”

Without sparing Dr. Annis another glance, she sped out of the office, snatching the parking ticket off her truck and tossing it aside before buckling Gwendolyn into her car seat. 

“Love Monster!” she squealed, doing a happy little dance. 

“Yeah,” Alice couldn’t help but laugh, “Mommy loves Monster. And also, we are never gonna be allowed back into that office.”

CALEB

The Queen of the Fae could have written an entire treatise on dressing for investigations. Today’s outfit included cut-off jeans, cowboy boots, a blazer, and a scarf.

Caleb frowned. “Why are you dressed like a rancher?”

“You said I should wear better attire for blending in with mortals. Don’t they ride llamas, tip their hats, and say things like ‘hello lil’ lady’?” 

She knew they didn’t, but the glimmer in Titania’s eye told Caleb it would be dangerous to disagree. What he meant by “dress like a mortal” was “wear underwear,” but he couldn’t say that because the distraction was his problem. “You’re fine,” he mumbled.

“Good,” she popped her hip and gave him a sweet smile, “Because I am wearing underwear this time. I want to avoid chafing.”

“P-pardon?”

“My lack of underwear unnerves you, vampire; you can just say it.”

“It’s not your lack of underwear that unnerves me!” Caleb exclaimed, thrusting his hands out in front of him. “It’s that your lack of underwear has me thinking about your—” A tiny sliver of good sense forced him to snap his mouth shut before he finished the sentence.

“Thinking about my what?” Titania raised an eyebrow, pointing at him playfully. 

“Nothing,” Caleb took a step back, mortifyingly breathless. “W-we should go if we’re going to get to campus before lunch.”

VLAD

Vlad surveyed the room that used to be his office but was now—thanks to his most recent inspiration—Gwendolyn’s playroom. It was brighter than he wanted, and sure, the collection of ancient Selvadorian encyclopedias wasn’t strictly necessary. But it was a happy, safe place to play, packed with the best educational toys he could buy or forcibly remove from the premises he deemed unworthy of payment. 

It was also too much. 

He could see that now, upon reflection. Alice was going to take one look at it all and scream. 

Possibly run. 

Possibly both. 

Fuck. 

He had to get rid of it. Was it insane to burn your own house down? He was doing this because he loved her, but maybe there was another way to show it, like beheading Salim or getting an orchestra to serenade her during a nighttime picnic.

Wait, when was the last time he heard an orchestra he liked? 1803? 1997? No, the orchestra in 1997 was terrible, and the acoustics outdoors would only emphasize how incapable the bassoonist was of playing an F3 without going sharp.

Maybe he should burn down the house?

Just as Vlad started debating whether the ceiling beam was structural, the front door opened. Immediately, he misted into the hall, forgetting that Alice had no idea what “misting” was.

“Motherfucker!” she screamed, clutching at her chest. “Where the hell did you come from?”

“The living room,” Vlad answered. “Which you cannot go into.” 

“Hi, monster!” Gwendolyn squealed. “Love monster!”

Vlad smiled. Affirming his love for the Tiny Terror was not complicated. He’d begun saying it to her weeks ago—same with Latimer. “Monser loves you too. Did you have a good morning?”

Gwendolyn burped and then blew a series of raspberries before collapsing into giggles. Alice, meanwhile, was still frozen. “How did you….”

“I have many forms for travel; not all of them require being corporeal.”

“What?”

“I dispersed myself into a million tiny particles and moved through space and time like the wind,” he added for further clarification.

“I…” Alice trailed off. Eventually, she lowered her hand. “Okay, I’m gonna put a pin in that for now. Why can’t we go into the living room?”

Because the floor was lava. Because the room was infested with rats. Because the roof had caved in. A million possible excuses ran through his mind, but what Vlad said was: “Because I love you.” 

CALEB

They’d been waiting outside the library since they saw Darrel slip into a building across the street. Occasionally, they’d catch glimpses of him in the windows, but he had yet to emerge.

“I still don’t get it,” Titania pouted, “What is it you think Darrel Charm has to hide?”

“Everything,” Caleb declared. “Maybe nothing,” he added with a sigh.  

The conviction of Johnny Zest was anti-climatic because he was dead. That wasn’t always an issue in the supernatural world; even if witches couldn’t conjure ghosts, they could see them. But so far, every seance had failed. Wherever Johnny’s spirit was, it was smart enough to lay low.

Not only that. The Sages were strangely nonplussed about the announcement. Their only concern was if Caleb had any valuable updates about the Ultimate Vampire Tome. He didn’t understand, they were so anxious to get the case wrapped up, and now they wanted the one thing he’d been too busy to make any progress on? 

“I just don’t trust Darrel.” He rose from his crouch, “What the fuck is he doing at Britechester? This is a mortal university. His family would never deign to go here.”

Titania lifted her binoculars—which Caleb expressly told her not to bring—and chuckled. “Oh. So this isn’t because you’re desperate to investigate something after your mortal ex-girlfriend told you fuck off?”

Caleb paled. How did she know about Bella? Not that it mattered. The sick part was that this had nothing to do with Bella, though, hand to the occult, he wished it did. That would be less embarrassing than admitting he was courting the Sages’ approval. 

“Would you please put those away?” he gestured angrily at her binoculars, “I know for a fact that the only thing you’ve been looking at is varsity soccer practice. And I don’t care about Bella. I’m merely doing due diligence.” 

“Okay,” Titania tossed the binoculars into a bush, “Whatever helps you sleep every few weeks.” 

“I sleep fine.”

“Sure you do.”

“I just said I do,” Caleb ground out. “If I were a dimmer creature, I’d thank you for asking.”

“And I’d say, ‘You’re welcome.’ But I’m not a dim creature, either. Speaking of dim, why can’t I just glamour Darrel now and scoop the truth out of his brains?” 

“Because if we don’t know what he’s hiding before we ask him about it, we’ll be here all week listening to his every secret.” Caleb lowered his voice to a hiss, glaring as he spoke, “And no one is scooping out brains. We are not going to kill him. For the love of the occult, you sound just like my father! Just sit quietly and try not to draw attention.”

“Fine.” She plopped down on a nearby bench.

“Fine.” Caleb plopped down beside her.

They only sat in silence for thirty seconds before Titania blew out a puff of air that lifted her bangs. “You say ‘father’ with such bitterness.”

“We are not talking,” Caleb snapped, “We’re observing.”

VLAD

“You love me?” Alice repeated.

“I don’t mean that!” Vlad exclaimed. “I mean, I do mean it, but I wasn’t going to say it because I converted the office into a playroom for Gwendolyn, and even I can tell that’s absolutely insane.”

“The playroom, or you saying you love me?”

“Both?” Vlad frowned. He couldn’t make sense of her expression. It wasn’t angry or frustrated; it was…amused? Was this an assassination? Did she plan to murder him?

Alice giggled. And then, in a shocking twist that was not a move to stab him, she kissed him and whispered, “I love you too.”

“What?” He tried to pull back, “Alice, what do you mean you love me?”

She kept her arms wrapped around his shoulders, refusing to end the kiss. “I was gonna say it first, but you beat me to it. I love you.”

Finally, Vlad succeeded in pulling away. He panted. “But I’m unwell.”

“I know.”

“I’m unreasonable, Alice. I eat sims, and I don’t feel conflicted by it. I’m a monster. I hate small talk and the texture of polyester curtains. Small inconveniences send me into a murderous rage. Some days I’d rather die than be touched.”

“I know,” she drew the words out, emphasizing them for him. “And yet here we are. I’m also unreasonable, so I guess we’ll just be unreasonable together.”

There were caveats within that, Vlad was sure. Alice wasn’t unreasonable. She was lovely and perfect, and she loved him.

His brain finally caught up.

She loved him!

He grabbed her, tangling his hand in her hair as he slotted his mouth over hers. “Say it again, please.”

“I love you. And I hate to break it to you, but Gwendolyn slipped past us about ten minutes ago and is already in the playroom.”

He let out a shaky laugh. “Alright. If you hate it, I will” —murder the designer— “make adjustments.”

But he didn’t need to worry. Alice was delighted, and so was Gwendolyn. She was drawn to the same wooden cat toy Lilith had loved as a child. Watching her shout happily and wave it around made him glad he’d demanded the toymaker create multiple copies. Yes, his family thought he was a hoarder, but he preferred to think of himself as an archivist of heirlooms.

And besides, Lilith lost the toy so often that he’d replaced it 18 times before her 4th birthday. He smiled at the memory. 

“Are you kidding?” Alice gasped, “When did you have time to do this?”

He shrugged, crossing over to Gwendolyn. “I don’t sleep.”

“I go doctor,” the Tiny Terror told him as he picked her up. “Doctor look at my insides, and I no like.”

“Of course, you didn’t,” Vlad soothed, “That doctor was probably untrustworthy. We should see how she likes looking at her own insides when they’re spread out on a—”

“Vlad!” Alice yelped.

He cleared his throat. “I mean that some doctors are fine, and you should listen to your mother.”

Alice’s back was to him as she examined the bookcases, but he could hear the smile in her voice. “We both missed you at the appointment. Next time, you can come and be vaguely threatening to anyone who makes Gwendolyn uncomfortable.”

It was, on the whole, the most romantic thing anyone had ever told him. 

CALEB

It was official. Caleb Vatore was going to die.

—Of boredom.

He cut his gaze over to Titania. “I say my father’s name with bitterness because I’m bitter.”

“I thought we weren’t talking.”

He scowled and picked at a torn thread on his jeans. “Fine. Sorry for trying to be a decent conversationalist.”

After a long silence, she sighed. “Why are you bitter about your father?” 

“He’s unhinged.” 

Bella had been concerned by his answer, but Titania snorted and waved a hand. “Please. Name a single supernatural parent who isn’t. They live forever. Even if they didn’t start out balls crazy, they certainly get that way. My parents were.”

“Tell me about it,” Caleb huffed, “My father cannot simply be mad alone. He has to drag everyone into it: bad marriages, revenge plots, crimes that are hardly worth the complex and drawn-out plans he loves to develop. You name it; he’s made us all miserable by doing it.”

“It’s like their life’s mission to piss you off. And the older they get, the more unreasonable they become. Do you know my mother once tried to convince me to go to Oasis Springs because she had a dream about mermaids in bathtubs? She was furious with me because I said no to her bonkers proposal.”

“Of course she was!” Caleb laughed. “Once, I came home to find an entire band of roving troubadours hanging from the rafters by their entrails, and the only thing my father would say on the topic was that if he wanted to hear an ‘a flat,’ he would have requested a different song.”

“My dad kept an entire room of fire. And I don’t mean on fire; I mean just a series of fires he conjured and left suspended from floor to ceiling like a burning net. He loved to hire mortals to repair his ‘lights,’ just to see how long it took them to burn.” 

“My father and your father would have been friends,” Caleb quipped.

“Hilariously, my father hated yours. Called him needlessly violent.”

At that, Caleb exploded into laughter. Titania joined, and they continued trading stories, erupting into such hysterics that a few students started shooting them dirty looks.

“I do miss them,” she said after they’d managed to sober up and sit quietly. “Some days, I find myself crossing to their room, half-expecting them to be there. They drove me crazy, and I couldn’t wait to be queen so I could tell them to fuck off.” She stared at the ground, “But then the unthinkable happened, and I was queen, and the only thing I wanted was for them to come back and drive me up a wall.”

The fae, like vampires, died not by old age or illness but through violence—injuries they could not recover from, curses, poisonings—brutal business that made such ends always tragic. 

He covered Titania’s hand with his own. Even if an apology didn’t result in accidentally binding him to her favor, he wouldn’t have said the words “I’m sorry.” Vampires didn’t bother with so small a phrase; instead, they gave each other truths. “I’m not bitter; I’m sad. My father did something unforgivable, and when I had finally made space in my heart to let it go, he wasn’t there. Even now, 180-some years later, I’m still that stupid little boy who wants his love.”

“You’re not stupid,” Titania turned to him. “And wanting love from someone who is supposed to care for you is also not stupid.”

He didn’t expect her to lay her head on his shoulder, but she did. And it felt nice. Caleb struggled with sleep just like the rest of his family, but sitting here with Titania, he could almost drift off. He glanced up to look for their quarry, but the building across the street was empty. 

Darrel Charm was gone.

ALICE

Alice couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off her face the whole time she was at work. Vlad loved her. And she loved him. And they told each other like two functioning adults.

It was so different from when she said those words to Salim. Back then, she was young and stupid. She spent weeks crafting the perfect romantic moment—choosing her outfit, using her dad’s credit card to buy “emergency beer,” and writing terrible, mortifying poetry about the first time they had sex. Penny was so sick of hearing about Operation “I Love You” that she convinced Alice’s college roommate to stage an intervention.

“You look like a raving lunatic,” Penny told her.

Her roommate agreed and then gulped.“Wait, are you saying you didn’t break up with him last week?”

This time, older and wiser, Alice had no plan. And Vlad met her halfway. It wasn’t sexy or dramatic. They even had a minor disagreement about Gwendolyn and a 12,000-simoleon violin they were no way in fuck going to give her.

Vlad shrugged off her declaration, just like he shrugged off her warning about the Voidcritter Song Cube. 

When Salim ignored Alice’s instructions with Gwendolyn, it made her anxious and crazy. But with Vlad, she just rolled her eyes and left for work feeling slightly annoyed and still in love.

Now she was back at his place. After shucking off her boots and tossing her keys on the entry table, she found him in the living room reading a book and drinking a glass of nectar. 

“How was she?”

“Lovely.” His eye twitched. 

Alice crossed her arms. “And how many times did the Voidcritter Cube play the theme song?”

He groaned, “A million. I lied when you called to check-in. It was driving me to lunacy. I waited until Gwendolyn was distracted, then ground it to dust with my bare hands. You were right. Hopped up on the stimulus of so many new toys, she was a—”

“A complete terror? A demon in a cute purple dress? A nightmare you thought you could control, but jokes on you weakling, you can’t?” She smirked at his furrowed brow. “You’ll learn.”

Vlad winced. “I suppose I will. I always prided myself on being a naturally nurturing figure, but now I have serious doubts. Latimer abandoned me—the traitor. Left me chasing her from room to room while she wailed like a banshee. The night ended with me humming the damn theme song until she finally fell asleep.”

Alice took the book out of his hands and set it on the coffee table, and then proceeded to straddle him on the couch. For whatever reason, a humbled Vlad was a temptation to her libido. “You haven’t fallen all that far. You’re just new to this.”

“New? I have two children.”

“Yeah,” Alice kissed his neck, enjoying how he shivered, “But it’s been how many centuries since they were toddlers?” 

Vlad made an indignant sound but arched his neck to give her more access. She rewarded him by sinking her teeth in. It wasn’t enough to break the skin—she had no idea how vampires managed it—but it was harder than she’d bitten anyone in her life.

And he loved it.  

His whole body jerked as a litany of swear words poured from his mouth

“You’re a good dad,” she praised, soothing the bite with a kiss. Her hand began to travel down his chest. “You’re just out of practice.”

He caught her wrist. “I’m not.” When she leaned back to stare at him, his jaw tightened. A muscle ticked before he continued bluntly, “I’m not a good father. I can’t imagine either of my children telling you that. I’ve failed them in innumerable ways, and practice has nothing to with it.”

It wasn’t fair to dismiss everything he said, but Vlad was harder on himself than was necessary. And just like she needed to stop thinking of herself as a “hot mess,” he needed to stop thinking of himself as a “failed father.” Gently, she tapped a finger to his lips. “Well, Gwendolyn and I are a package deal, so you’re just gonna have to be better, starting with not lying when I call to check in so I can tell you that she’ll stop crying if you just put on A Lost Dog’s Journey Home.”

“That’s the movie that calms her down?” Vlad swiped a hand over his face. “I’d trade some irritating puppy’s reckless adventures for the Voidcritter theme song any day.”

That chagrin. Alice rolled her hips, a fluttering heat spreading through her. They were searching for her kink, but maybe this was it? Maybe she liked being in charge. “See?” she flicked her fingers over his ribcage, tracing the muscle stretched over the bone. When he moaned, she giggled. “I know what I’m talking about.”

“Clearly,” he rasped, “That’s why you left me to suffer.” 

Her hands clenched briefly when he grabbed her hips, tilting his pelvis up until they were both panting from the friction. 

“I could have been in danger,” he teased while pulling her sweater over her head, “I hesitate to think what would have happened if I were kidnapped and signaling for help.”

Alice reached for the button on his jeans, sucking in a sharp breath when he slid a hand into her bra and pinched her nipple. “I cannot,” she gasped, “Imagine any scenario where someone would kidnap you.”

CALEB

“It’s not my fault!” Caleb’s nostrils flared as he followed Titania through the University Commons. “I only confessed my stupid vulnerabilities because we were sitting there for so long!”

“Well, you should have confessed with your eyes open!” she shouted. “Now we wasted the whole damn day, and I’m not even gonna get to scoop his brains out!”

“For fuck’s sake, what part of ‘we’re not killing anyone’ is unclear to you?” he demanded as she stormed out the back door.

“All of it!” she shrieked.

They continued to argue even as they passed a table manned by several young spellcasters.

“Hey!” One of them jumped in front of Titania and handed her a small bottle. “Take this and our card. We’re Light the Way. If your date goes badly, we’ll get you from wherever you are. No questions asked.”

Titania narrowed her eyes. “What’s this potion? Also, I’m not on a date with this dumbass. We’re not even carrying weapons.”

The witch slid her eyes over to Caleb. “It doesn’t matter if you’re on a date; it’s for protection.”

“Protection from what? I’m not under duress.”

“Exactly. She’s fine,” Caleb waved a hand, “Deeply unwell, but not in danger.” He cut a glare at Titania, “And what do you mean we can’t be on a date because we’re not carrying weapons?”

“A lack of weaponry denotes a lack of planning. Ispo facto, we’re not on a date.”

“Oh, we’re not,” Caleb agreed, “But if we were, I’d still be prepared. I’m a vampire. My existence is a weapon. And anyway, maybe I hid the weapons, and that’s part of the activity, so what you observe as a defect is actually excellent planning.”

“Excellent planning? You can’t even handle a stakeout. You’re—”

“Excuse me!” the spellcaster clapped her hands. “If you two are done. I’m Bethany, a founding member of Light the Way,” she pointed at the other students, “This is Addie and Miles. We gave you the potion to counteract the effects of Focus No. 9.”

Caleb’s ears perked up. “What does it do?”

“In short? Make you obsessed with someone,” Miles replied, “You feel like you’re in love with them, and you’ll do anything to please them.”

Caleb’s stomach dropped. “Like a powerful vampiric allure.”

“Yeah,” Addie replied. “We give out protection at all the major campus events. No matter what the Sages say, the supernatural and mortal worlds aren’t separate.”

“Seriously,” Bethany’s expression darkened. “The fact that we have to do this is complete bullshit. The stores still sell it because the name is innocuous, but they know what’s up.”

“Is it made with passionfruit?” Caleb asked through gritted teeth.  

“Y-yeah,” Addie shuffled back, “It’s one of the primary ingredients. That and valerian root and spotted frog.”

Caleb thought back to Darrel’s explanation for Johnny’s shopping list. “Witches use it to improve the focus of those around them, get everyone on the same page.” 

Titania didn’t need him to explain; she’d already put two and two together. “I’ll kill him,” she vowed.

Caleb looked at her, expression grim. “Not if I kill him first. Let’s go hunting.” 

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FLASH WARNING

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CREDITS

In addition to the  CC I regularly use in the game and buildings from the Fleuralia Save File, I used the following builds and custom content. This story takes a ton of mods and cc, so if you see your work and I failed to tag it somewhere, please message me.