Chapter 27: Bring a Hammer

Morygn & William’s House



“What are you doing?” William cried as he walked into the kitchen carrying their son. 

Morgyn continued mixing the formula, “Planning to torture our child, naturally.” 

“Torture? What do you mean? They’re already crying, and you intend to do worse?”

“For fucks sake William, babies cry. Our baby is crying because it’s incapable of polite conversation when hungry.”

“Our babe is not an ‘it,’” he hissed.

“I know our baby is not an ‘it,” Morgyn clenched their fists, “Have you chosen a name? Any will do. I sent you three pages of options. Do you need more?”

William gave them his usual haunted look at the topic of names. At first, Morgyn had no problem waiting until the baby was born. Even Sulis, whose list of requirements for the nursery was a mile long, was agnostic about choosing right away. But it had been months, and William fought them on every suggestion.

“William Jr, Terrance, Amos, Coop, Kwame, Garreth—any name William, please!” they threw up their hands, “Your mother sent a baby gift addressed ‘TBN’—to be named!”

“Don’t try to change the subject! The baby doesn’t need a name right now; he needs food. I thought Sulis said she would consider pumping again. Neither of you seems concerned he could get a stomach ache.”

This was the new William. Irritable and anxious, taking Morgyn and Sulis to task over everything they did, judging it as insufficient, dangerous, or damaging. There was no rhyme or reason to it. 

“Why don’t you go upstairs and relax?” Morgyn suggested. “You’ve been with the baby all day; you could use a break. I’ll feed him and put him down for the night, and then I’ll join you. Formula won’t upset his stomach, I promise.”

The look in William’s eyes was pure panic. “I…I’m fine, you go ahead. I want to check the crib anyway. It doesn’t seem sturdy.” 

  • Yimiki
    Sep 10, 2023

    Oof. That little flash terror from Vlad at “I died” says it all. I have no doubt that Vlad blames himself for letting it get to that point, even though he wasn’t even anywhere near the place before and did all he could. He’s going into overdrive taking care of her, too. It’s good to be protective but overprotective would just make her feel like she can’t do anything, wouldn’t it?

    The whole scene with Anastasia and Morgyn hiding a baby is wild but I’m stuck wondering why on earth Ana is wearing a bird skull and antlers more than anything 😆

    A zombie. That’s a new one. I don’t think that’s it, Alice. She seems equal parts bothered about what she’s going through as Vlad is turned on by it 😂 I wonder if Gwendolyn always saw Alice like that and that’s why she’s unfazed. Or maybe it’s just because it’s Gwendolyn.

    Oh no, William is an overprotective dad 🤣 seems like it’s a theme in this chapter.

    [Let Vladislaus be happy in the one universe where his trauma is long past, and the love of his life is merely an anomaly] Dang, Morgyn knows exactly what is going on with everything. This is beyond fourth-wall-breaking. It’s dimension-wall-breaking. And completely in-character, too 😆 Morgyn and Sulis’s multi-dimensional talk is making my head hurt. For someone who claims he doesn’t play 18-dimensional chess, Morgyn sure is good at playing.

    [“I’m not depressed.”
    Morgyn gave her a cool look. “You came to my house wearing a bird on your head and an evening gown. You and Vladislaus are two little dysfunctional peas in a pod, wearing your hearts on your expensively tailored sleeves.”] My question has been answered. Oh, I laughed too hard at this.🤣

    Whoa! What is that red portal thing? And what happened to William and Will Jr? 😮

  • Snow ~
    Sep 11, 2023


    ‘They’re an old friend who hates me’ XD Morgyn and Ana looking cute as always < 3 smoochsmooch. Oooooh the veins and the eye thing on Alice… Yeah, this is going to be rough for a while. Don't worry Alice, the long-term 'monster' can help you get used to the 'monster-y' stuff. The guilt will bite for a long time, I guess kinda like with Penny…and they both have a lot to get used to with their new(ish)found powers. I love these two so damn much. The Operation Eternal Flame discussion was a bit yikes. That's the only problem with going out with someone who's one thousand years old. How much do you let slide as being 'in the past' and how much still stays with you as something to be very concerned about?

    Not sure if I trust the embodiment of Untamed magic with a child XD Good ol Latimer reassuring Alice < 3 Morgyn without magic is a depressing thought ;-; Though it…I want to say it would be good if they could get it back but…I'm not so sure XD Untamed and the Goddess of Reason…what an interesting combination haha.
    “Well, unless your friend Penny is a member of the occult, we can’t use her help no how.” FUNNY YOU SHOULD SAY THAT LATIMER! OH BOY! I had to laugh at the 'Latimer is the sanest person in the house' tag XD Burning humanoid flesh in a bonfire with a babbling baby on your back is so unbelievably The-Strauds-core LMAO.

    OKAY the falling into nothing freaked me the fuck out. All I saw was emptiness and then a blurred shoe and I actually shit myself because I thought I was seeing things X_X That kid is going on an adventure into…well…nothing…The portal rising out of the water was awesome, reminded me a bit of an Oblivion gate from ES.

    • feroshgirl
      Sep 12, 2023

      I love writing Morgyn and Ana together, omg they are the bffs we all deserve. They have similar parenting styles, I think lol. Although, listen, any child that has a thousand year-old vampire, the embodiment of untamed magic, and a goddess for parents is gonna be able to survive anything.

      I think Latimer is the most sane person in the house hahahaha. I mean, Vlad is not well, and we shall have to see what Alice evolves into. Her and Penny are definitely dealing with the same influx of information, but I think its gonna be interesting to see how they deal with it. We already know that Penny cannot process guilt in a healthy way AT ALL.

      I am coining Strauds-core as an official tag for chapters that are particularly unhinged lololll thank you

  • SirianaSims
    Sep 19, 2023

    Ugh, Vlad’s terror at Alice saying she died is giving me all the feelings 😭 Even though it didn’t “stick”, he will never forgive himself.

    I love Luna. Only someone who grew up in Jacques’ house could ever be this level-headed considering the things she’s seeing. I love Morgyn and Ana’s relationship, they just want to gossip over a glass of some unholy concoction and let their hair down, dammit.

    Seriously though, Vlad is like, the idea boyfriend for someone who just discovered they are some sort of monster or worse.
    But also PUMP THOSE BRAKES HOMEBOY. Still gotta work on that communication.

    I love that Gwen is unfazed by the way Alice looks. Of course she would be. Gwen was born unfazed. Except when Monster Daddy doesn’t have time to play (or refuses to buy cookies, wait, I am mixing up my universes again)

    You know Vlad has been through it when he sleeps. Damn.


    “If Latimer’s eyebrows lifted any higher, they’d be in space.” 😂😂😂
    Latimer has immaculate dad vibes though, 10/10. Definitely the only sane person around. Or at least the most sane-ish.

    OMG Sulis is a menace and I love her. In a cast of unhinged characters, she has utterly left the doorframe.

    “And then Vlad came through like a fucking wrecking ball.”
    FEROSH. GIRL. Twin, you can’t do this and not expect me to reply with THIS:

    “Justine,” Alice finished. “I know. Jerry’s mom was always perfectly polite, but at dinner, she’d be so on edge that Clive would ask her to leave the room.” Alice shivered, “What an asshole.”

    EYEPATCH MCGEE?? I DEMAND RESPECT FOR DADDY DON – except Grim is not Daddy Don and also that is fucking hilarious.

    “His son’s response was a burp and giggle. Typical of a baby to take Vladislaus’s side” lololol, To Be Named knows what’s up!

    OK so this red portal rising ominously from the water is cool as hell but all I can think of is Pink’s knife-dick Vlad rising slowly from a hot tub and I am dead 💀

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